morals

you've got your v-neck
and your pointed shoes
walking around with that
who the fuck is better than

you look and you look and you
cross your arms.
it doesn't matter what they're saying
if it doesn't matter to you.

you say i've got a ring around my collar,
i want to put a ring around your neck.
you've got a foot above the rest,
i'll put a foot between your teeth.
you've got a handle on your boy
and you best be glad
my father taught me well
or i'd get a handle on you.

you've got a card up your sleeve,
trumping all their hands.
if he's got a queen, you've got the ace.
you think you're king but
i keep my cards in my pocket
call my bluff, call my bluff.
when all the cards are on the table,
we'll see who plays the joker
and walks away folded.

the greatest thing
my father ever taught me
was to keep my mouth shut.
and closed it stays, teeth clenched.
but i warn you now and i warn you always,
my morals wont last forever.

on time and strength.

we took the time
and stopped it in
it's endless ticking.
our own calendar
of meaning between
the squares and
numbered days.

and now, it seems
the time is mine
to pass and wait
until it lingers again
with your hand in mine.
eyes locked,
the ticking stops
and i can breathe again,
see again, be again.

i want to paint your
tears an ocean
to sail away on.
waves of strength
to stay afloat on,
winds of change
and moving on
and holding you up
until your nights are
clear and the stars
point you home.

taller does not equal stronger.

i wont wear shoes
that make me taller
than i am.
feet planted firmly
on the ground
i am stronger that way.
stronger than your words
and the way you try
to knock me down.

i'd rather the grass between my toes
than my nose in the dirt.
i wont stay where you put me,
i wont stay at all.
even though your eyes tell a story
of love and lies and
everything i clinged to.
and even though your voice
still stirs me and you can
still make your kisses
taste so sweet.
i know who you are
and who you made me
and how you broke me.

i wont wear shoes that
make me taller than i am.
my feet are flat on the ground
and they're ready
to walk away.

how could you be anything but beautiful?

last i checked,
you had two eyes,
you had two ears.
last i checked,
they worked.
you can see as well,
hear as well as
the next guy.

but you're so dumb
and you're so blind.
how do you miss
what's right there
in front of you?

so bright,
so clear,
so beautiful.
but you're so tied up
looking down your nose.

selfish prick,
you're missing it.
you're missing him.

you're missing how he laughs,
how he moves, how he breathes.
you're missing what he thinks,
what he does, what he sees.

you only fucking care
when you get to
make yourself look good
or when you're
trying to show me up.

you can't show me up.
i got this shit.
figure it out
your goddamn self.
and quick.
because he
deserves
better.

haiku

when he held out his
arms the world wrapped around me
and he held me tight

i was never a quiet girl

another day trips by,
the hours pass to quick,
but the days linger.
a secret to keep,
a shared smile, a smirk.

how much of my life
has been lived in silence?

i'm not a quiet girl,
but i will be
when i have to be.
and i have always
had to be.

one day, my life
will be lived out loud
and i wont have to
tiptoe around.
the lines on the page
will be articulate,
voiced but in action
and not in hiding.

i'll be me and
finally
somebody
somewhere
wont mind.

love vs a tree

how could i ever
create a tree
that could begin to show
what you mean to me?

the strength of this could not be measured
by thick lines of brown and grey.
the branches, endless,
spreading out beyond the page.
the leaves as soft as your touch.
and the wind, the passion in your kiss.

how can the longing
be portrayed in curled limbs and knots?
devotion in roots?
adoration in it's
infinite reach?

but this is tangible, dimensional
it grows up and out and in and deep.
couldn't be contained within
lines on a page or even
within the branches of a tree.

a seed falls on a piece of land,
unnoticed and quiet
but it grows, beautiful and limitless.
and that is what i want for you and i.

[sometimes the wind blows
and trees fall and that's
okay because something
always grows in their place.]

chilled

the ice is never going away this year.
it gets warm and then we freeze again
and it doesn't matter how close you get
under the sheets, legs tangled.
the cold always comes back.

my bones are cold.
my toes and ears and fingertips
never seem to ever want to thaw.
red and angry
and then it happens all over again.

it hurts all the time. just a little,
and then a lot.
and the moments where i hold my breath,
those few, sweet moments.
but, a girl has got to breathe to keep sane.
a girl has got to breathe to keep sane.

it was a treacherous morning,
there was no one on the road.
a silent, ice filled morning.
the sound of the snow falling,
the steady beat of the wipers
and your voice.
i held my breath.

but a girl has got to breathe to keep sane.
a girl has got to breathe to keep sane.